The Professional’s Guide: Setting Boundaries Without Losing Compassion

This Week’s Immigration News Highlights

• Trump’s “Big, Beautiful“ Bill Passes Houses, Congress

• ICE gets $150B Funding

• DOJ Looking to Revoke Citizenships of Undocumented Criminals

The Client is Not Always Right

I remember starting as a baby attorney in September 2018, to be exact. Besides the fact that I looked young, I initially struggled to gain the clients' trust. But how could I? I barely trusted myself to file something in court without my managing attorney double-checking my work.

That early-stage imposter syndrome is real. It lingers in the back of your mind with every call, every deadline, every client story that carries life-changing consequences. You’re afraid to say the wrong thing, scared to act without supervision, and terrified that your clients will find out you’re still becoming who you want to be.

But here’s the truth no one says out loud enough: you are still the attorney. And when you let the client take the reins, especially in immigration law, you are in for a wild ride. Buckle up, because if you’re not driving, they’re taking the wheel and swerving straight into a procedural disaster.

When Clients Want to Play Lawyer

Every attorney has met them: the client who cites Reddit threads, insists their cousin's case is "just like theirs," or challenges your interpretation of the law based on something they heard from a notario.(eyes rolling)

These clients aren’t necessarily hostile. They’re often anxious, overwhelmed, or desperate. But when you, the trained professional, defer too much, especially out of your self-doubt, you risk handing over the strategy and direction of the case to someone who doesn't understand the legal framework, much less the consequences of poor planning.

The Cost of Silence

When you're new to practice, staying quiet or overly deferential may feel safe. But silence can be misinterpreted. It can make you appear unsure, unprepared, or out of control. And it opens the door for the client to fill the vacuum with their ideas of how things should be done.

If you don’t speak up, someone else will, and from my experience, that someone often has no license, no accountability, and no legal training. Misinformation spreads fast. Your job is not to validate client expectations; it’s to lead with clarity and purpose.

How to Assert Without Alienating

You don't need to come off as rigid or dismissive to maintain control. Instead:

• Speak with empathy and confidence: "I know this process is confusing, but here's what the law allows us to do."

• Use written engagement agreements that define scope and authority.

• Share reputable resources when clients challenge your guidance.

• Explain why something won't work, not just that it won't.

You Are the Professional

Every attorney starts somewhere. But even when you're still learning, your education, training, and ethical obligations put you in a position of expertise. You are the one licensed to practice law. That means you are also the one who takes responsibility when things go wrong.

Let clients vent. Let them ask questions. Nod along if it helps. But never let them run your cases.

They hired an attorney. So be the attorney, not their paralegal, not their therapist, and not their yes-person.

When Courtesy Fails: Professional Responses to Rude or Combative Clients in Immigration Law

Let’s be honest, immigration law is a personal matter. It’s family, livelihood, survival. So when a client gets rude, hostile, or flat-out combative, it often has less to do with you and more to do with fear. But just because we understand where it comes from doesn’t mean we have to tolerate it.

One of the most complex parts, whether you're a young or experienced attorney, is dealing with demanding clients (to put it nicely). I once had a client, a doctor, whose wife was stuck in Kenya due to a 10-year bar. We went through multiple waivers and finally reached the point where she was just waiting for the second interview, a stamp on her passport. After months of advocacy, congressional assistance, and careful legal maneuvering, the doctor still lashed out. We were called money-hungry, uncaring, incompetent. Eventually, we had to part ways, right when everything was about to come together.

In another case, I inherited a file from a client whose case had been mishandled for years by another firm. Naturally, all that weight landed on my shoulders. From day one, she questioned everything: why I didn’t call daily, why the case wasn’t moving, and why I couldn’t just expedite the process with USCIS. Her frustration was valid, but the hostility was unwarranted. That was misdirected. She became verbally abusive, name-calling, using personal insults, the whole nine yards. I knew I had to rein it in and remove myself from direct communication. I continued working on her case behind the scenes, but I refused to speak to her again. Not because I didn’t care, but because I knew myself, and I wasn’t going to risk being unprofessional in the face of constant disrespect.

Your Role Is Not Emotional Target Practice

Being professional doesn’t mean being passive. It’s not your job to absorb emotional abuse in the name of client service. Your job is to advocate, to counsel, and yes, to hold the line.

When courtesy fails:

• Redirect the tone. Calmly say, "I want to help you, but I can’t do that effectively if we continue this way."

• Document everything. Rude or erratic communication should be logged. It protects you and sets a paper trail.

• Use the power of pause. You can always end a call and offer to follow up in writing.

De-Escalate Without Enabling

Not every client meltdown needs a dramatic exit. Sometimes, people need space to feel heard. But there’s a line:

• Listen without being a punching bag.

• Acknowledge their frustration, then steer the conversation back to legal solutions.

• Offer clarity, not concessions. You're not changing the facts, you’re helping them understand them.

You Don’t Owe Unlimited Access

Boundaries are part of professionalism. If a client screams at your staff, makes inappropriate comments, or continually disrespects your time, you can withdraw. You should. You are not required to stay in a toxic professional relationship.

In this field, compassion is our currency. But we can’t spend it all on people who refuse to treat us with basic respect. So yes, be kind. Be patient. Be professional.

But don’t be a doormat. We’re attorneys, not emotional punching bags.

In Closing!

Connect with me at my LinkedIn account and follow Notice to All’s X (previously Twitter) account!

Also, if you’d love my expertise as an immigration attorney, feel free to book a call with me.

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Finally, visit our Custom GPT Immigration Law Expert Shelly: an AI chatbot designed by The Notice to All Team. AI Shelly has all the answers to your immigration questions (not a replacement for professional consulting, though. AI isn’t that good). A Gemini Gem version is also available!

In immigration law, your role as an attorney is to lead with both compassion and authority, balancing empathy for your clients’ fears with the confidence to guide their cases effectively. When you let clients dictate strategy or tolerate abusive behavior, you undermine not only your expertise but also the integrity of the process. Remember: you were hired to be the attorney. Speak with clarity, set firm boundaries, and never relinquish the driver’s seat.

Until next time, happy 4th of July weekend! 🎆